A Custom Love Song for Your Partner: What to Put In It and When to Play It
How to make a custom love song for your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband: the details that make it yours, the right style, and when to play it.
Most love songs are about love. The one you give your partner should be about the two of you: the café where you met, the argument about the dishwasher, the word only you two use. A custom love song says what "I love you" has stopped being able to say, because it is made of evidence. Here is how to make one for a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife or husband, and when to play it.
Specific beats sweet
"You are beautiful" is in ten thousand songs. "You still steal the last roast potato and think I have not noticed" is in one. Before you write anything, make an inventory:
- The first meeting. The exact place, what they were wearing, the first thing they said.
- The first thing you noticed. And the thing you noticed a year later.
- The habit you secretly love. Humming while cooking, the special voice they use for the dog.
- Your private words. Nicknames, in-jokes, the name of your car.
- The hard bit you got through. A move, a long-distance year, a hospital waiting room.
- The plan. The house, the dog you will get, the trip you keep postponing.
The line you have never said
Every good love song needs one line you have never managed to say out loud. Put it in the brief. Let the song say it for you.
An example brief
Here is the kind of brief that makes a strong love song. Every detail in it is invented:
Example brief
For Maya, my girlfriend of three years. We met at a friend's karaoke night, where she sang a power ballad badly and on purpose. She calls me "Captain" because I always carry plasters. She hums while she cooks and burns the garlic every time. We did a year of long distance, Leeds to Lisbon, and lived on voice notes. The plan: a flat with a balcony and a dog called Biscuit. The line I have never said: the year apart felt like the start of something, not a gap.
Six details and one honest line are enough. From a brief like that, the lyrics come back in seconds. Read them out loud and change anything that does not sound like the two of you.
Match the sound to the relationship
| If you are… | Style | Mood |
|---|---|---|
| New and giddy | Pop | Happy or Playful |
| Long-distance | Ballad with piano | Nostalgic or Romantic |
| Ten years in and still dancing | Soul or Jazzy | Romantic |
| The couple who never stops laughing | Country or Pop | Funny |
| About to propose | Ballad | Emotional or Inspiring |
| Bilingual | Latin, Pop or Ballad, in the language you fell in love in | Romantic |
When to play it
Valentine's Day
The obvious moment, and a good one. The flowers will be gone by Thursday. Play the song at breakfast, before the day gets busy, and send the link so they can hear it again at work.
The anniversary of your first date
Many couples remember the wedding anniversary and forget the first date. A song about that night, played on that date, shows you remember the beginning.
A proposal
A song can set up the question beautifully. Write it about your story so far and keep the last verse for the future. Play it somewhere that matters to you both, have the ring ready by the final chorus, and ask a friend to film from a distance. Choose Engagement as the occasion.
Long distance
Send the link timed to their bedtime, in their time zone. A song is one of the few gifts that crosses an ocean in a second.
A random Tuesday
Choose "Just because" as the occasion. A love song with no occasion is the most romantic kind, because nobody saw it coming.
Got your inventory? Choose Valentine's Day, Engagement or Just because, then add your details and the line you have never said. You will read every line before it is sung, and you can change any of them.
Make your love songFour mistakes to avoid
- Mentioning an ex. Even as "you are so much better than…". Just no.
- Promising what you will not do. "I will cook every night" will be quoted back to you on a Wednesday.
- Explaining every in-joke. The song is for them, not for strangers. Private references are the point.
- Putting in too much. Six great details beat twenty good ones. Pick the ones that make you smile while you type.
What it costs
Your first song is free when you sign up. After that, one song is $9, or three for $21 if you want one for Valentine's Day, one for your anniversary and one for their birthday. There is no subscription, and unused songs never expire. Each comes with cover art, a share page and an MP3 to keep. Not sure yet? Listen to a few finished songs first.
Looking for more than a song? Our list of sentimental gifts for someone who has everything has ideas that pair well with it, and if the date is tomorrow, here are last-minute gifts that don't look last-minute.
